ADHD in children: symptoms and help

ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is one of the most common developmental differences in children. It is not the result of parenting or a child's ill will, but an expression of a neurological difference that affects attention, activity level and impulse control. With the right understanding and support, a child can make good use of their strengths.

How does ADHD show up in children?

ADHD shows up differently in every child, and the symptoms may differ at school and at home. Three areas often stand out: attention difficulties, excessive activity and impulsivity. It is important to remember that all children show these traits from time to time; with ADHD, they are persistent, appear in several settings and interfere with everyday functioning.

• Attention: difficulty concentrating and finishing tasks, being easily distracted and forgetting things.
• Activity: a constant need to move, difficulty sitting still, restlessness.
• Impulsivity: blurting out answers, difficulty waiting for their turn, acting before thinking.

How to support your child at school and at home?

The greatest support for a child is a clear and predictable environment and a calm attitude from the adults around them. Working routines, short and concrete instructions and regular movement breaks help the child channel their energy. Praise your child for effort, not only for results: this supports self-esteem, which often suffers in children with ADHD.

• Break big tasks into smaller steps.
• Use visual aids: a daily schedule, checklists, timers.
• Create a steady routine at home for sleep, meals and schoolwork.
• Work together with the school and the teacher so that support is consistent.

When to see a specialist?

If difficulties with attention or activity interfere with your child's learning, friendships or family relationships and last for months, it is worth consulting a specialist. Our child psychologist can help map the situation, give families practical advice and, if needed, refer you for further assessment. If needed, we also support the whole family through counselling.

Who to talk to?

At Heaolu Keskus, you can talk about your child's ADHD and behavioural difficulties with, for example, these psychologists:

Marion Soomre 🇪🇪 🇬🇧Brita-Stiina Sarv 🇬🇧 🇪🇪

ADHD, self-esteem and friendships

Children with ADHD often hear more remarks and criticism than their peers: "sit still", "listen until the end", "why did you forget again". Over time, such constant negative feedback can damage a child's self-esteem and create a feeling that they are somehow bad or lazy. In reality, the child often tries harder than others, but the result may not reflect that effort.

In friendships, too, impulsivity and difficulty regulating emotions can cause misunderstandings: the child may interrupt a game, react abruptly or struggle to fit in with peers. It helps when an adult teaches specific social skills calmly and step by step and practises them with the child in a safe setting. It is important that the child does not feel rejected because of their behaviour, but gets support in learning.

Positive and supportive communication at home creates a sense of security from which the child dares to try things elsewhere too. Notice and name your child's strengths, such as creativity, energy, helpfulness or a sense of humour, as often as you point out difficulties. When a child feels seen as a whole person, not only through their behavioural difficulties, their self-confidence grows as well.

Does ADHD show up differently in girls and boys?

ADHD is diagnosed more often in boys than in girls, but this does not mean that girls have it less often. In girls, ADHD often shows up as attention difficulties rather than marked hyperactivity: they may be quiet, dreamy and have their head in the clouds, which is why their difficulties are more easily overlooked. Such a child does not disrupt the lesson or draw attention, but may be working very hard inside to keep up.

This is exactly why ADHD in girls is often noticed later, sometimes only in the teenage years, when learning difficulties, anxiety or low self-esteem build up. If you notice that your child is trying, but concentrating, getting organised or finishing tasks is persistently difficult, it is worth looking into, regardless of whether the child is outwardly restless or not. Early recognition helps prevent unnecessary experiences of failure from piling up.

ADHD, learning and school stress

School poses special challenges for a child with ADHD: long lessons, sitting still, multi-step instructions and planning homework independently. When expectations do not match the child's current abilities, school stress can develop, which in turn deepens concentration difficulties and reluctance towards school. This can create a vicious circle in which failure leads to a drop in motivation and the drop in motivation leads to new failures.

Cooperation with the school helps prevent or break this vicious circle. Useful steps include, for example:

• Agree with the teacher on shorter, concrete instructions and, if needed, a seat with fewer distractions.
• Divide homework into smaller parts and take movement breaks in between.
• Use a visible daily schedule and reminders to reduce forgetting.
• Keep a calm and predictable atmosphere at home, where mistakes are allowed and can be put right.
• Recognise effort and progress, not just grades.

If school stress has already developed, a child psychologist can help both the child and the family find suitable solutions, reduce tension around learning and restore the child's belief in themselves. The sooner support is sought, the easier it is to break the vicious circle.

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