Bullying affects a great many people, both children and adults, at school, at work and online. It often leaves invisible but deep marks on mental health. It is important to know that bullying is never the victim's fault, and seeking help is a fully justified and effective step.
Bullying is repeated and deliberate behaviour aimed at hurting, humiliating or excluding another person. It can be physical (pushing, hitting), verbal (insults, threats) or social (exclusion, spreading rumours). What all forms have in common is an imbalance of power: the victim finds it hard to defend themselves.
Cyberbullying happens through smart devices and social media: hurtful messages, sharing humiliating pictures, leaving someone out of groups or spreading false information. Unlike ordinary bullying, it follows the person home and often happens out of sight of adults, which makes it especially exhausting.
The effects of bullying can be lasting in both children and adults. Anxiety, low mood, low self-esteem and sleep problems are common. A child may start avoiding school, lose interest in activities they used to enjoy or often complain of headaches and stomach aches. In adults, bullying at work can lead to burnout and deep stress.
If you notice these signs in yourself or your child, it is worth talking about it. For children, a child psychologist can offer support, helping the child cope with their feelings and regain confidence.
The most important thing is to listen without judging and to take the experience seriously. Do not say "just ignore it" or "it is your own fault". Reassure the person that they are not alone and that seeking help is a brave step. Help them collect concrete examples and, in the case of cyberbullying, keep evidence as screenshots.
With a child, work together with the school and involve a specialist if needed. As an adult, it can help to turn to your employer and to talk through your feelings with a psychologist in a safe setting.
Our psychologists in Tallinn help both children and adults cope with the effects of bullying, regain their confidence and find the strength to move forward. You do not have to deal with this alone.
Book an appointmentAt Heaolu Keskus, you can turn to these psychologists in cases of bullying:
School should be a place where a child feels safe. When bullying happens there, the environment becomes a source of threat and every school day can cause tension from the very morning. This is how bullying and school stress become closely intertwined: fear of the next break or message takes over the child's thoughts, reduces their ability to concentrate and makes learning difficult. Over time this can lead to school refusal, where the child looks for reasons not to go to school.
It is important to distinguish whether a child's school stress comes from the workload or from relationships and a lack of safety. Signs that bullying may be behind it:
If you suspect bullying is behind school stress, it is worth talking calmly with your child and working together with the school. Restoring a sense of safety at school often eases study-related tension too. If the stress persists, a psychologist can help the child regain both confidence and joy in learning.
One of the deepest marks bullying leaves is its effect on self-esteem. When a person is repeatedly humiliated or excluded, they often start to believe the insults and see them as the truth about themselves. Both children and adults may be left feeling worthless, uninteresting or to blame, even long after the bullying has ended. Rebuilding self-esteem is therefore an important part of recovery.
Restoring self-worth is a gradual process that can be consciously supported:
If negative thoughts about yourself are deeply rooted or interfere with daily life, a psychologist can help you notice these thinking patterns and gradually change them. Evidence-based methods, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, are effective in supporting low self-esteem after bullying.
Constant vigilance and fear of the next attack tune the body into a lasting state of anxiety. A person who has been bullied may develop persistent tension, a racing heart, difficulty concentrating or a sense of panic in situations that remind them of the bullying. Sometimes this does not go away even after the bullying has ended, but develops into a more lasting anxiety disorder that affects daily life and relationships.
If anxiety becomes persistent, starts to limit daily functioning or leads to avoiding certain situations, it is worth turning to a psychologist. Anxiety disorders respond well to treatment, and evidence-based methods help restore a sense of safety and teach techniques for calming the body and mind. The sooner you seek support, the easier it is to break out of the vicious circle of anxiety.
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